Do You Ever Feel NOT Good Enough?

One of the deepest fears that every human has is rejection.

And when you think about it, rejection can take soooooo many forms. It is built into our DNA and can show up many, many times each day.

Do you ever do or say something to someone in an effort to be accepted by him or her? Do you ever find yourself contorting your personality in order to be liked?

A need for acceptance is also a fear of rejection, right?

What is behind that need for acceptance? And, what is the root of this deep fear of not being accepted?

The truth is, it’s simply part of the human condition. It’s a deeply planted system of survival that makes a lot of sense. In order to survive, you need a tribe.

For me, this need for acceptance shows up as feeling not good enough. Some days, I just want to hide in bed because I feel self-conscious, and just not good enough.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but during my life before 40 this fear of rejection was nearly ruling my life. Yikes.

Strength training changed this for me. I started turning my attention to something that meant something to me – my athletic ability – and I started to feel so good about myself that the opinions of others mattered less.

When you feel good about your body – and feel strong – everything changes. You stand differently. You stand your ground. Your walk differently. You walk into a room and people look at you differently. Your physicality changes you.

And you deserve to experience this.

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Women’s Strength Nation is committed to improving the ratio of women to men strength training around the world. You can Join the Movement by sharing your thoughts and questions below. Your thoughts and ideas may help another woman’s journey. Please join the conversation and leave a comment below!

And lastly,

Today’s #Strengthspo

“At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is your relationship with yourself, and with your higher being. No other opinions really matter.” 

Stay strong, friend. 

8 replies
  1. Dottie
    Dottie says:

    Thanks, Holly for this message. I sure did need to hear this today! I have started to grow into my awesomeness of late and am very happy with the results.

    I had fallen into a sedentary way of life and my self-worth was in the toliet. Then, I decided I really wanted a better quality of life and got out of bed, started walking a mile a day and read your book. I plan to start my strength training the middle of next month when I will be walking 2 miles a day. I cannot wait!

    Happy birthday and Happy Holidays to you!

    • Admin
      Admin says:

      Hello Dottie,

      I have such a big smile on my face right now! So HAPPY to hear that you are excited about your fitness journey.

      STAY STRONG and Happy Holidays to you!

  2. Shelley
    Shelley says:

    Thank you, Holly. Your message rings so true to me. As I was approaching my 48th birthday this fall, I realized that I needed to focus on my health (including diet and exercise) so that I could feel better about myself. I started strength training with a trainer in September. As my physical strength has increased, my inner strength has grown as well.
    I am grateful for the inspiration, encouragement, and guidance you provide.
    Best wishes for a very happy birthday to you and for happy holdiays as well!

    • Admin
      Admin says:


      You are so welcome! I will always try my best to inspire and encourage people! Make them feel strong and beautiful!

      Happy Holidays, Stay STRONG!

  3. Valerie
    Valerie says:

    Hi Holly !!! What a fantastic video and message !!! Thank you Thank you Thank you !! Thank you for shining your light and helping/advocating others to find our own. Happy Holidays! Happiest birthday wishes to you!!

    • Admin
      Admin says:

      Hello Valerie,

      Happy Holidays and sorry for the late response. Thank you so much for being a part of Women’s Strength Nation and for the feedback.

      Stay STRONG

  4. keren
    keren says:

    Holly, thank you for your words…. and your belief in me (us)…. that we could get the body we want…that Ive always wanted, and never believed that I could have.. !
    I didn’t even let myself imagine that possibility for myself unlit I read your book, where you said that I CAN have it all…!!! and you were the ONLY voice that stood up for that, and among all the voices in my head that said that I couldn’t, I chose to listen to YOU….!! and have been doing that ever since…I been working out now for 8 months, also with a personal trainer and following your posts and encouragement and advice regarding everything, and I will say that my body is going through a total transformation in body composition, and I am also beginning to have less self loathing attacks..yeay ! so , I guess this is to acknowledge your steadfast faith in my ability to transform my body, my opinions of myself, and for your help in accomplishing this as well as you continued support and vote of confidence in me (us). I am still on the journey to complete self love, and acceptance, as well as body transformation, and I am happy with my journey and proud as well…. glad to know that this journey is a top-less mountain, with no end, and that keeps it all the more wonderful, setting new goals and improving and enjoying working out a lot 🙂 I truly appreciate you and your help Holly, and i wanted to say this to you because you are a human being who also needs to know that her efforts in loving yourself and helping other women like me do the same is an undertaking that makes a meaningful that has impact in so many areas of life and that is far reaching in a ripple effect to others as well…. sorry for the long scroll here, but I have a lot to be thankful for and express to you… Thank you, with love, Keren.

    • Holly Perkins
      Holly Perkins says:

      KEREN!!!!! Thank you so, so much for this amazing note. So unbelievably awesome of you to share your experience, and I am beyond honored to be that voice in your head. You deserve to be anything that you wish, and it all starts with be able to say “I’m worth it” – and you are. I had a conversation today with a bestie about our inclination towards self-loathing. I’m beginning to believe that it is simply a piece of being human. I told my friend to focus on ALL of the little ways that she digs herself. So for you Keren: what are the ways that you’re awesome to yourself? What are the things about you that you like you? Keep focusing on that because I can see that you are a caring, loving, thoughtful, generous, motivated, determine and strong woman – and wow, that’s a lot to be proud of. SO thankful to have you as part of the WSN community. You’re amazing.


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